Happy Easter Have Some Eggs
by Cleopatra Antoinette
Summary: It is Easter, and everyone is happy. Except Sarah, who hates eggs. What happens when they invade her house?


Okay everyone; here is my first story since redoing my profile and taking my stories down for some MAJOR re-typing. I hope this story brings some people in.

I do not own the Labyrinth, or anything in it, and if David Bowie was about 40 years younger, I might be sad about that.

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**Happy Easter. Have Some Eggs. **

Sarah wasn't too fond of Easter. It wasn't the religious symbolism behind it. It wasn't the fact that skimpy bunny outfits seemed to show up in every lingerie store. It wasn't the kids screaming about getting goodies in their baskets, although that certainly didn't help her occasional headache. It wasn't even getting all those annoying, cheesy, Easter cards in the shapes of rabbits and baskets that her co-workers seemed to think she adored.

It was the eggs.

It wasn't their round shape.

It wasn't how easily they broke.

It was the fact that in fourth grade, Sarah had found out that she got very, very, VERY sick eating them. It had started out when Sarah had gone and eaten some scrambled eggs for breakfast. She had a big test that day and was running late, so all she had time for was a few bites of the yellow stuff.

The day progressed as normal for the majority of the morning. She did her test, drew her pictures with her crayons in art class. Added and subtracted her numbers, learned how to spell Mississippi. It wasn't until about lunch that she started to choke and feel faint.

It was about then that her mother drove up in her new Volvo convertible. Sarah remembered how she strode into the school hall, strutted up into the principal's office, cooed all over Sarah, snarled at her teachers for not taking care of her little darling, and proceeded to check Sarah out, drove her to the doctor's office, and waved at her cheerily as she dropped her of at the doors or the office and went to have lunch with her agent.

Since then, Sarah never went near a single egg.

She didn't care if they were scrambled, broiled, roasted, hard boiled, as far as she was concerned, they were about as safe as molten lava. That was why she hated Easter. With a _passion_. She couldn't walk more than five feet without one of the damned things popping up in her face, especially the day before Easter Sunday. It seemed like the only way she could get away from the things was in the bathroom, and she couldn't stay there all day. Even though she tried every year. Well, not this year, thought Sarah triumphantly. This year, she was taking the week off.

No little kids screaming and pointing to the little chocolate candies. No Co-Workers talking about how festive the season made them feel.

And NO,

Absolutely ZERO,

Of those stupid, death-causing, created by a satanic cult,

EGGS.

The thought made Sarah's face simply break out in smiles of joy.

Today was the last day of work before her weeklong hermitage, spending quality time cleaning up her apartment, something she had been planning for quite some time since her maid ran of with some janitor that worked in the same building. Sarah never did like to call her apartment "home". She was waiting to find a nice house out in the country, in a small town where she could get a job being a secretary or teacher or librarian. But until then, her apartment was a pretty nice place.

Sarah could barely keep the grin from her face as she clocked out, and when she got out of the building and walked down the street, she let out a little scream of joy. She ran all the way to her apartment, and when she opened the door and closed it behind her, locked it, dropped her bag on the counter, her coat on the stylish coat-rack by the door, and began to dance around the living room, singing joyfully as she did so.

"_I get to stay hooo-ome, I get to stay hooo-OOOOME!_

_No waking up early for me, oh no, just stay in bed all daaaa_-yyyyyooooooOOOOOHHH  
MY GOD!"

Sarah had been somewhere between a twirl and a high kick when she spotted IT lying on a table. She stood in a very odd position for a moment, before she lost her balance and fell down on the couch lying behind her. She sat there gasping for a few moments, and then she took a look at her evil nemesis, which had somehow, _someway_, managed to get into her fortress of security.

A chocolate egg.

An _evil_, chocolate egg.

Oh, sure it LOOKED innocent, sitting there upright on her coffee table in front of her T.V., but Sarah knew better. Its kind had been her enemy for nearly fifteen years, and she knew what they were really like. Today, their arch-nemesis: a girl who found out about their heinous ways. Tomorrow, the world. But Sarah knew how to deal with these things. She slowly stood, glaring at it, and began to ease her way around the couch and into the kitchen, where she could still keep an eye on it. She bent her head for a moment, rifling through her cookery stuff, and, finding what she needed, came waking slowly back until she stood in front of the Evil Assassin Egg.

In her hands, she held a skewer and a salad fork. Carefully, very carefully, she managed to get the egg wedged between them and slowly carried it back in to the kitchen. There, she used her foot to open the lid of her trashcan, and dropped it in.

"Hah, take that, you disgusting blight upon the earth." Satisfied that she had rid the earth of just one more evil virus, she decided to reward herself by taking a nice, hot bubble bath.

She walked into the bathroom, turned around, and-

"AAAAAAAAAA!"

There, lying on the counter was another egg. Obviously, the enemy had sent reinforcements. Sarah looked around, grabbed several tissues in one had, and preceded to gingerly pick the contaminated object, and carry it over to the trashcan. She dropped the egg, as well as the now disease-ridden tissues into the trash. Sarah took a step back, and took a shaky breath. She decided that maybe she wouldn't take a bath after all.

As she closed the door behind her, Sarah felt a disturbing thought cross her mind.

'_Was it just me, or did the egg seem bigger… Nah, it was just me.' _Maybe watching one of her favorite movies would help her get over the shock. She walked over to the living room again, and went to get a DVD. As she grew closer, she gave another little shriek. There, wedged between 'The Count of Monte Cristo' and 'The Return of the King', was another one of those stupid, painted, EGGS! Sarah grabbed the DVD's and picked up the egg with it. As she walked into the kitchen, she began to sweat. Apparently, the enemy had this all planed out very well. And there was no mistake about it. The egg was bigger. Not much bigger, but big enough to make a difference.

She walked over to the supply closet to grab some anti-bacteria spray to clean her DVD's, and was rewarded with another one of those ACCURSED EGGS staring her in the face! Sarah screamed, ripped some paper towel of a roll sitting next to the door, grabbed it, and threw it out the window into the ally below. That one was bigger that all three of the other ones! What was going on?

Everywhere she turned, there was another egg, bigger than the last one, and right where she was planning to be! In the bathroom, in the kitchen sink, under the sink, in the pantry, on the bookshelf, on the couch, on the windowsill, on the table where she kept her pictures, in the toothbrush drawer in the bathroom, EVERYWHERE!

Sarah couldn't scream loud enough.

Finally, she could take it anymore. She ran to the door.

But there, sitting on the doorknob, was another, gigantic, EGG!

She turned around, grabbed her coat, picked up the egg, and dumped into the umbrella stand, and grabbed the doorknob.

"Damn it! It's locked!" Sarah rattled the door handle and it wouldn't budge. She turned around, looking for the keys. She grabbed her jacket of the floor, and began to search the pockets. Ticket stubs, wallet, comb, old gum wrapper, FINALLY! Sarah's had grabbed something cool and hard. She pulled it out, turned around to ram it into the lock, and—

Screamed.

In her hand, was a gigantic, evil, EGG!

Sarah screamed, unable to take anymore, and ran into her bedroom, locked the door, turned around.

And there sitting on her bed, was another, gigantic egg. This one was big enough to hatch a full grown chicken.

With a little frustrated screech, she grabbed a baseball bat Toby had left from his last visit, and hit the egg as a hard as she could.

The egg sat there after the baseball bat hit it neatly over the top, and Sarah began to lift the bat to hit it again, when suddenly…

The egg hatched.

There was no other word to describe it. One second, it was fine, not even the bat had dented it. The next, little cracks began to crisscross over the surface.

Sarah stood there stupefied, as the egg was cracked, and then,

out

popped

A white owl.

"Oh… my… god…: Sarah watched it as it shook the chocolate shell off its wings, and it began to weave its way towards her.

Now, Sarah had only hated the eggs, not what came out of them. Actually, her favorite type of animal was bird, but still…

It came out of a chocolate egg.

She slowly knelt down to the height of the bed, and the bird stopped right at the edge, and fell into her lap.

"Oh, no!" Sarah stood up, and looked at the bird, to the door, gently put the bird back on the bed, and unlocked the door. She gently picked up the bird again, and rushed into the living room. She sat down, put the bird on a pillow, and went to look for the phone book. She shot through the pages, and finally found the number for a vet.

She grabbed to phone, and sat down next to the owl. Dialing quickly, she watched the owl warily to see if it was going to attack her.

"Hello, Lakeside Animal Hospital. This is Debbie, how can I help you?"

"Um, yes, Debbie, I have a stunned owl here, what do I do?"

"…Umm… A stunned owl… Um, ma'am, are you sure it's an owl? Maybe a large cockatoo…?

"Miss Debbie, I know an owl when I see one, and this is DEFFINATLY and owl."

"Ma'am, this is downtown Atlanta. There have been no owl sightings in over a hundred years. This is hardly a-"

Sarah looked back at the owl. Its eyes were open. Sarah looked at it. Its eyes were mismatched.

Her eyes narrowed as she continued to look at the owl, and she spoke back into the phone.

"Miss, I think you're right. It's a large cockatoo. Thanks for you're help." She hung up the phone, crossed her arms and legs, and stared at the owl. If looks could freeze, it would have been an owl shaped ice block.

"Okay, Jareth, we are going to do this two ways," sad Sarah, as she went back to the bedroom and came back with the club. She started to tap her palm with it.

"You can either transform and tell me why you're here in a civilized way, or your going to get another huge headache, and this one is not going to fade away anytime soon," she looked at the clock on the VCR/DVD player. "Right now, it is 4:23. At 4:25, I expect you to get back into your form and talk normally to me, OR… we can do this the hard way. Literally."

She turned around. "I am going to clean up my bed. You had better be back to normal by the time I get back."

At 4:25, she came back into the living room. It was empty. Sarah frowned.

"Now, where…"

Suddenly, she was covered in a large cloak, and she felt someone's mouth on hers. And it tasted like… chocolate…

It was a full five seconds before they moved away. They formed a smirk on the handsome face she had often thought about. The mouth and face moved back so she could get a good look at him. His pale blonde hair was as messy as always, his green and blue eyes sparkling again. His poet shirt let Sarah see a good amount of his (well muscled) chest. His pants were still tight, a fact she was acutely aware of as she was now and adult, and he looked very, very pleased.

"My, my, my. The little girl has grown up into…" he looked her up and down. "A well matured woman," His eyes met her. "Just like wine."

Sarah pulled herself out of her zombie state. "Thank you some much for that loving comparison. Now what the heck did you think you were doing!" she yelled as him, her face getting flushed by the fact he had actually kissed her, something she had always whished he had done, and by the fact that she was furious.

"Why, Sarah, darling, beautiful, I was only sampling the wine," Jareth smirked as he watched her reaction.

Sarah took a deep breath. _'Count to ten, Sarah, count to ten.'_

"Okay," she said, getting a grip. "Were you the one putting eggs all over the place?"

"Yes. I thought that this time of year was customary to have such things around," Jareth said.

"Yeah, well, not around here! I hate eggs!"

Jareth slowly smiled. A predatory smile. "What kind of… eggs?"

Sarah's face looked like it had been hit with a bowling ball. "You… You…"

"Yes…?"

"You PERVE!"

"Hmph. I've been called worse."

"I'm sure you have."

"Come on, Sarah, it's all in good fun."

"I don't call it fun!"

"Well, I usually call it something else, and I would tell you, but I think I'd rather just show you in this case."

He slowly advanced towards her. She backed away.

"L-look, you. I am a full adult woman with no time or place for a-" He slowly came towards her as she bumped into the couch.

"A-a f-fling with '_Holy crap. He has his riding crop. God help me.'_ With you-"

He nudged forward and she fell onto the couch. She sat there stunned. She considered getting up, but looking in front of her, she realized that wasn't an option.

_'Dear God.'_

"I have no time for you!" she yelled at him, finally getting her frustration out.

One of his eyebrows lifted. "Really? I was under the impression that you were free all week."

Her eyes widened. "How did you know about that!" He pointed to a calendar on the wall, where eight days were highlighted with purple and the words 'freedom' and 'sleep-in' days were clearly visible.

"Oh." Sarah looked back at him. "Well, you still aren't allowed in here! I didn't ask you come!" She pushed him back _'Ahhhhh...' _and got up. "I'm gonna be to busy to bother with you." She walked to the supply closet. "I'm going to clean here, and you are not needed."

Jareth came around and pinned her to the wall.

"Well," he said lazily, tracing her wrist with her fingers "You have, what, seven, eight days?" He waited for her hesitant (and annoyed) growl of yes.

"Well then," he said coming even closer, "What's an hour? Or two?"

"Its-" Sarah cut off with a small moan when he started to kiss the base of her neck.

"What I mean is…" he started to kiss her throat.

"Ahhh! Stop-" He left her throat and started to nibble her earlobe. She gathered up what was left of her dignity, and attempted to make a final protest.

"It's one or two hours wasted on-" Jareth kissed her lips. Soft at first, and then hard. She felt them smile against hers when she opened her mouth to groan. A few minutes later, he left her mouth and let her look up at him stunned.

"You know, what is a day or two?"

"Enjoyment?"

"Actually, what a week or two off work?"

"Learning how to enjoy eggs?"

"Perve!"

"I'm sure I can teach you to call me several other things after a while.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ten Years Later 

Sarah sat on an ornate throne next to Jareth. She had been lost in thought for quite some time.

Finally, she looked up at him.

"Hey, Jareth, you know what?"

He looked at his wife and smiled. "Actually, I know a lot, but tell me anyway."

"You were right." His eyebrows went up in question.

"I do love eggs."

"I knew it."

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So there is my story. I hope you all enjoyed it. Please leave all reviews in the large container in the corner, and please come again


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